Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
