And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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