Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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