dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
