I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
