I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
