I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
