don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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