I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My dick has a subreddit
not ubering you a puppy
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Text me some of your sweat
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
