its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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