I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
