If i come over, it means nothing
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
