i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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