I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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