oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
