the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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