guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
