you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
