Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
