Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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