What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize