thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
