He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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