i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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