is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
