Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
