Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
