We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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