you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize