Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Found the puke drawer
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
