Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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