I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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