I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
