what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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