doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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