i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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