There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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