I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
