My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
