So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
