She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
