So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
