trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I party with great urgency now.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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