I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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