he thought i was a dude.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
