soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
