The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize