he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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