i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
