idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
