awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
