is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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