I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize