I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Less talking, more tequila
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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