Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
