nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
