In the future we'll all be gay
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
