His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Sorry about my life...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
