your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
apparently the secret to your success is patron
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
