remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
