You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
