sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My breasts were aching with rage.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
